Dry is dumb. Dry weather is the bane of my existence and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. This is a dry weather diss.

Utah, of course, is dry. It’s dry because, well, there’s no water. It’s a desert. By the way, the Salt Lake does not count as a beach. Lake Powell and Bear Lake are also not like a beach. Beaches on the ocean and lakes are not the same. There is nothing tropical about Utah. Nothing.

Another fact I have to clear up: it does not rain a lot in Utah. After moving here from Florida I was told it rains a lot in April. The only rain I’ve seen so far is an on and off sprinkle, at most a drizzle. I’ll let you know when I see some of this big rain I heard about. Ninety nine percent of the state’s precipitation comes in the form of snow.

I have seen sometimes where the humidity ticks up past 50%, more so here around the lake where it’s a little wetter. However, it doesn’t feel the same at all. Let me unfold the mystery: altitude. There is less air here than in other places that are lower (aka Florida). The less air there is, the less water there can be in the air, so even if the air is fully saturated, it’s not as saturated as it is in lower elevations.

Dry air has a lot of nice things it causes, like dry skin, and cracking skin, and itchy skin (see Thanos pic). Oh wait, those aren’t good. I will say, the hot doesn’t feel as hot, and the cold isn’t as cold, so that is nice. The thick blanket feeling I get in humid low elevation spots is going to be missed, but in the end I’ll deal with the dumb desert.