Hi, I'm Ella, a high school senior with an impressive collection of vintage VHS tapes and a pet tarantula named "Pixel," is a force to be reckoned with in DTV. By day, she wields a camera like a wizard casting spells, and by night, she’s deep in the secret art of “film alchemy,” mixing genres like a mad chemist. Sporting a wardrobe that can only be described as “80s sci-fi meets thrift store chic,” Ella believes that every good story needs at least one inexplicable plot twist—preferably involving interdimensional jellybeans. Her latest project? An epic saga about a sentient potato who must navigate a dystopian world ruled by over-caffeinated squirrels. Ella is notorious for her bizarre sports story production meetings, which often take place in the school’s abandoned art room, lit only by flickering fairy lights and the glow of an ancient lava lamp. Here, she channels “sports spirits” to brainstorm ideas, often summoning the ghost of Alfred Hitchcock (or so she claims).

It's time to play the game. What's the game, you ask? I've been playing a competitive Monopoly match continuously for the last 14 years. I just collected $6,427,935 from my hotel on Boardwalk.